40-ish = 49
Adventurous = Slept with everyone
Athletic = No tits
Average looking = Ugly
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Contagious Smile = Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure = On medication
Feminist = Fat
Free Spirit = Junkie
Friendship first = Former very “friendly” person
Fun = Annoying
New Age = Body hair in the wrong places
Open Minded = Desperate
Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate = Sloppy Drunk
Proffessional = Bitch
Voluptuous = Very Fat
Large Frame = Hugely Fat
Wants soul mate = Stalker

Women’s English

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I am sorry = you’ll be sorry
We need to talk = You’re in trouble
Sure, go ahead = you netter not
Do what you want = you will pay for this later
I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
You’re very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

Men’s English

I am hungry = I am hungry
I am sleepy = I am sleepy
I am tired = I am tired
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = let’s have sex now
I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you
Can I take you out for dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
Those shoes don’t go with that outfit = I’m gay